Loup-Garou, the Ultimate Couch-Potato, the Lap-Hog, Mr. Hedonism Ultra Plus Nec I-Wont-Lift-A-Paw-If-I-Can-Help-It… has fought ! Oh yes. And there’s a picture to prove this sudden martial outburst too. This might surprise, awe and shock the masses but nevertheless ’tis true. And mighty his prowess proved to be as well, as his much-beloved sibling Zorro was to find out. True to his character Zorro didn’t run, but he wasn’t left snickering either. Poow poow Zowwo…
What caused this outburst ? What made the Über-Lay-Z Feline move more than a whisker ? Why did his normally genteel disposition explode in sudden nastiness and an impressive Feline Buzz-Saw Show ?
Why, the Catmint of course. What else ?
Oh yeah, and Zorro’s hogging behaviour that was downright fanatic and cruel to his fellow feline denizens of the House of Chaos. The fact that one moment he was rolling around in supreme bliss like a kitten and the next moment he would attack any feline stupid enough to come close to his bliss-source might have something to do with it. You might even say his usual grumpy disposition could be the underlying cause, which has been hell for his brother for the past 9 years. I wonder if he was already kicking the other while still in the womb ? He might have.
But yes, there you had the black sleepy-dopey ambling over to the source of tantalizing odours and suddenly the black and white fiend went into murder-mode. Of course Loup-Garou had to defend himself ! Yet the way he executed his -for once- perfect and swift defense had Zorro pausing for a moment, leaving just enough time for the poor wronged blackster to leave the premises with his dignity intact. The defensive action itself was a masterstroke: perched upright on his mighty hind-limbs this cat in his prime had ample opportunity to use his lethal foreclaws with devastating force and effect. Spread out widely and fully unsheathed Loup-Garou’s razor-sharp talons are a sight to behold, and for Zorro it just went a bit too fast for his liking too. Having this exceptionally well-maintained cutlery waving madly both in front of your eyes and that most sensitive cute pink nose -that is the pride and worry of every feline- could be a tad disconcerting indeed. Yet Zorro has learned from painful experience past that vicious fighting does run into the family and that when people call your being the occasional feline buzz-saw a birthright might apply to your nest-brother also. If Loup-Garou had ever displayed the grumpy demeanor that Zorro favours the House of Chaos would better have been named House of Hell, and rightly so.
Fortunately we are most lucky in that department: usually Loup-Garou is a most gentle cat, wont to excessive bouts of heavy sleeping, the occasional turbo-nap, and the general lying-about in just about any receptacle possible. As long as he lies cozy he is At Peace With The World and nothing short of a murderous sibling or a can being opened can rouse him from his well-deserved rest. This is the cat people envision when they ooh and aah over cute lovable pussies. This is the cat everybody wants to take home after visiting the House of Chaos. This is the cat who can melt the heart of even the most vexed cat-hater (if given the chance – there are people who flatly refuse to enter the House of Chaos out of cat-fear) and manages to win over a cat-lover in a matter of nano-seconds. I mean, this is the cat who trademarked the pathetic begging “iew”. He can even say “iew” with his eyes.
All of that notwithstanding, the cat amazed us all with his fierceness and uncharacteristic volcanic response to Zorro’s latest attack. It is so unlike his old placid self that we are left wondering what made that come about. Probably it’s the seductive lure of the Catmint. Probably Zorro’s recent kittenish behaviour might have befuddled the black one into thinking his beloved sibling had finally entered his dotage and that the resulting weakness might be exploited to satisfaction. It might also mean that Loup-Garou has finally -after 9 gruelling years of filial torture- decided he’s had enough and put an end to it.
At the end, the sudden explosion of unhappiness at bad treatment left Zorro a tad dazed. He’s more cautious now whenever his bro’ is around. He can rest assured that Bean Sidhe is still the jolly clown, always in for a playful romp, but when the Dark Lord approaches his ears go flatter, eyes become slits, and claws silently come out of their cozy furry nests. It pays to be vigilant in the Garden of Chaos.
Picture below: THE picture. Notice the talons, spread out like a bear’s.
Things are hopefully more peaceful tomorrow at the Friday Ark, or you might want to have some merriment at the Carnival Of The Cats next Sunday.
House of Chaos 