The Mistress is fond of flea markets. During Summertime there’s a flea market every Sunday in the town where the House of Chaos can be found and whenever she has time (and the pecunia needed for the fun) she will scrounge to her heart’s content and come home with all kinds of cheaply-bought lovely stuff for enjoyable adornment of the house. Or, in Grumpy Man’s words: “She’s found some new junk to clutter the place with”.

This time however he had to grudgingly agree that 4 interesting books are indeed a good find and he didn’t even complain about the scratching post. The virtually new scratching post with hardly any wear and tear, coming from an old lady whose feline companion sadly didn’t manage to celebrate its 18th birthday. But as the saying goes: “one person’s loss is another person’s bargain”. We now are the proud owners of 1 (one) blue-furred and sisal-wrapped scratching post. With a platform on top. Neat !

“Neat” was exactly what Zorro must have been thinking when he first set eager and approving eyes upon the unfamiliar contraption. After I finished reconstructing it (when I bought the post it had to be disassembled for easier carrying) he, together with a bold Hrimnir and a timid Frankette, immediately set to carefully checking it out. After a few tentative sniffs, and some not-so-tentative cheek-rubs, Zorro planted his furry behind -and his implicit approval- upon the platform and stayed put. He even remained perched on it when I took out the food bags and filled the bowls.

Later on, though, Zorro retreated to his recently chosen spot on top of the Cupboard of Many Treasures and presumably went to sleep there. He wasn’t however. The moment one other of the feline denizens of the House of Chaos came over in order to carefully sniff at the new scratching post a vengeful streak of black-&-white anger careened down from the cupboard and onto the hapless kitty. Repeat three times. Even Frankette, usually Zorro’s darling (which means he hasn’t tried to kill her yet and usually tolerates her passing close-by), had to make a fearful dash to safety, her lithe back raked by angry claws. Nobody was to approach the new scratching post. It was all his and his alone. HISSS !!

Now, I knew Zorro could be territorial. The cat-nip in the Garden of Chaos has perished, completely stripped bare and soaked with scent-of-Zorro, nobody else tries to reside on the top of the Cupboard of Many Treasures, and when Zorro is sleeping in the Nest even the simians hesitate to occupy it. But this hogging of the new scratching post has set new standards of obsessive possessiveness. He all but wrote his name on it and he clearly intends it to be the sole user of it.

Even when he is not occupying the platform, or lying on the cupboard in ambush, his promise of dire wrath somehow lingers in the air and the other feline denizens can sometimes be observed staring forlornly at the empty and unused scratching post. They would so love a rub, or a rake, or even a quick sit-on… but they don’t dare. There’s always the quiet menace of an angry Zorro exploding into righteous anger and they all respect his merciless punishments. He doth rule by terror.

So now we’ve placed the scratching post elsewhere, next to the mill (don’t ask why we have a lathe and a mill in the living room, it’s just one of the many reason why ours is called the “House of Chaos”) and The Mistress’ computer. Zorro still occupies the platform from time to time, but since he can no longer dive-bomb the unwary user it seems to have lost some of its appeal and currently the other feline denizens are tolerated near it. A tolerance they have relished and celebrated with tentative face-rubs and scratches. They swiftly grew bolder when they noticed that Zorro would indeed not keep watch all the time and now Hrimnir and Frankette can sometimes been seen frolicking around it. Loup-Garou and Bean -Sidhe, older and wiser, have abstained from using the scratching post however. The fear doth lingers.

Yet with two frolicky kittens (they’re still one year old…) ravaging the scratching post I fear that Zorro’s enjoyment of the scratching post will be short-lived. They tend to wreck things thoroughly, and even though these scratching posts have been designed to withstand intensive kitty-use this one already sports the slightly haggard look of a scratching post well-used.

Picture below: The Lord and Master of All He Beholds on His Throne.

Meh, it’s weekend again and that means… Friday Ark ! The Carnival of the Cats (Artsy Catsy) ! Weekend Cat Blogging (CatSynth)! Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos (Samantha and Mr. Tigger) ! Ahhh… so many parties… so little time.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Nature

Cats

Robots

]]> http://thehouseofchaos.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/wordless-wednesday-50/feed/ Babeth rose Frankemie eating Obsidian flying http://thehouseofchaos.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/tummy-tuesday-50/ http://thehouseofchaos.wordpress.com/2008/07/15/tummy-tuesday-50/#comments Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:55:17 +0000 Babeth http://thehouseofchaos.wordpress.com/?p=175

Frankette trying to show some tummy whilst hiding from too much sun under a board.

How does she do it ? The poise, the sensual move, the promise of soft cuddles ? And all under that board…

More tummies can be admired at LisaViolet’s Dairy, as usual.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Nature

Cats

Zorro is doing it again…

Far cuter and certainly less grumpy kitties have their tummies on display on LisaViolet’s Dairy.

It’s such a lovely sound. It’s very high-pitched, yet not piercing. It conveys exactly the right tone of miserable unhappiness-because-you-are-ignoring-me combined with the cheerful apprehension-that-you-will-soon-notice-me. Once emitted it slowly works its way into the yawning crevasses of your still-sleepy brain and you finally open your eyes in order to gauge where this sound came from and what it does portend for your immediate future.
“Mew”.

It’s been emitted by a pink snout, set into a lovely little white-&-black furred face, attached to a small yet lithe feline body that radiates delicate beauty and exquisite grace, and all of this comprises of the most timid yet lovable creature that is wont to dwell in the House of Chaos: Frankette the she-kitty. In her own absolutely cute way she is trying to force her will upon you, or rather the following complex message has been put into that 3-letter sound: “It’s 6 AM in the morning, the food bowls are empty, Bean Sidhe has been mean to me again and is in desperate need of a good whacking, Hrimnir is keeping me awake because he wants to play and needs a diversion, there’s a fly in the kitchen stubbornly staying out of claw-reach, and I am in desperate need of a cuddle. What shall we do first ?”

Of course you don’t want to get up at 6 AM. And so -of course- you gently shove the wake-up caller aside and turn around in a futile attempt to catch a few more winks. But then the sound is repeated and a stubborn paw prods your cheek. It’s the prelude of the equally stubborn but shockingly cold nose (which can -and will- be applied on far more vulnerable spots of your prone body) and thus one is once more forced to lavish some attention on the small purring alarm clock. Mind you, a murderous look shooting daggers does not phase her in the least, she just takes it as just another show of attention which she enthusiastically receives with all the aplomb of a reigning monarch. The purring just gets louder too.

Before Frankette joined the feline denizens in the House of Chaos we always thought that nothing could rival Hrimnir when it comes to the sound of his formidable purr. But then he got dethroned by this small and far more lovable upstart. True to his most amenable character Hrimnir has never objected to this, he knows there are other -far more important- ways in which Frankette can never win from him and he still is the most energetic head-butter of Da House. But the Purr is hers. And thus one can enter the House of Chaos after a long hard day of work and be greeted by that rumbling soothing sound that cats so mysteriously produce. Frankette’s quite loud, vibrating, resounding. That such a blast of sound can come from such a tiny furred body is yet another of Mother Nature’s Mysteries, especially when you know that her mewing is always timid and soft. When Frankette mews it’s a lady-like mew, a thin sound uttered with civilized grace. Even Loup-Garou’s trademark pathetic “iew” is loud and uncouth compared with Frankette’s lovely “mew”. But then, she’s a girl. Girls are supposed to make girly sounds.

Not so girly is her growl though. And when you have heard that distinctive sound of aggressive rebuttal being emitted by our girl-kitty at 3 AM in the morning you just know that either Almost-Franky has been trying to enter the House of Chaos again and got as far as the Master Bedroom before being almost murdered again by the Elder Siblings, or Bean Sidhe wanted to snuggle up in The Nest where Frankette was already reposing. In the latter case I can always observe with some Schadenfreude how an embarrassed but not-understanding Bean Sidhe -three times bigger than Frankette- would slink away with a plaintive yowl, declaring his puzzlement at such an uncalled for hostile treatment. It’s not as if he has ever attacked his little foster-sister, now hasn’t he ? It’s only that Frankette seems to somehow associate this bigger hulk of a cat with danger. Bannikin’s usual boisterous play with Hrimnir might also explain the far smaller kitty’s apprehension.

And if Frankette may be a tad on the shy side when it comes to asserting herself to the rest of the world, when it comes to Bean Sidhe she has no compulsion to cower into a submissive retreat at all. “My Nest !”, she growls and the Bannster has no choice but to relocate to a far less hostile napping spot. No matter that The Nest is a king-size 2-persons bed with plenty of space for all resident feline denizens of the House of Chaos to spread out and still leave space enough for the occasional simian that would try to sleep in it. As far as Frankette is concerned there is not enough room in one room for her and Bean Sidhe.

And when she is awake there is no room in The Nest for anybody else as well. We must all be downstairs, doing her bidding, filling the foodbowls, giving her scritches and -the other felines at least- leaving her alone.

Picture below: “Hey, look at me ! I’m cute !”

Our kitties will be visiting their usual weekend haunts again, swilling Tunatini’s and hogging the ‘nip, over at The Friday Ark, but also at the Carnival of the Cats hosted this week by Victor Tabbycats, Weekend Cat Blogging which will take place over at Stella Luna’s and the Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos that will be organized by Pet’s Garden Blog.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Nature

Cats

Photoshop

Zorro trying to do the impossible… showing cute tummy. But hey, at least he tried !

And no, he didn’t scratch my toes. I got away completely unscathed.

I guess that better -and far more successful- efforts can be spotted at LisaViolet’s Dairy.

Imagine the ugliest, most hideous, wacky vase that could only have been spawned by the sick imagination but deft hands of a crazy potter. It was useless too… because it wasn’t glazed right you couldn’t keep water in it so the vase could only contain fake flowers. It wasn’t even straight, it was crooked. Just the kind of failed pottery you would find at pride of place amongst the prizes in your club’s annual raffle. And yes, I once won such a monstrosity. And yes, I cherished it.

Never question a woman’s penchant for and love of ugly things.

But Zorro clearly did. After more than 10 years of having had to share the House of Chaos with this eye-sore our grumpy kitty decided that enough was enough and that the House could not sport both a Zorro and … well … that. The Vase had survived the Dreaded Tail of Death (owned by the late woofie Critter), it had survived two moves (from the House of Chaos to the House of Small Pleasures and back to the House of Chaos - long story), it had even survived the curiosity of no less than 14 kittens and one pup, not to mention the occasional clean-up by a terribly and fatally clumsy Mistress and the arrival of a Bouncing Psycho whose legendary habit of breaking things simply by being in the vicinity has given birth to a new verb … and Zorro finally had enough.

He sort of took things in his own paws. Now, that didn’t go as smoothly as you think it would. For one thing, Zorro had to scale the Cupboard of Many Treasures. He knew that The Mistress would be more than terribly put off if he managed to crash the top half of said Cupboard. So he had to be careful about that. He had to wait until the ironing board was positioned just so, and then make his fateful jump. Then he had to negotiate the various objects that litter the top of the Cupboard of Many Treasures: a serving plate, a Russian doll, some candle-holders, a small coffee pot, an ice-bucket, a small replica of the Shroud of Turin, a doll dressed like Mary Mother of God, and a small statue of Drizzt Do’Urden (made by the Mistress herself, and yes, she was sure to have used unbreakable materials for that one). You don’t want a list of what is IN the Cupboard Of Many Treasures, trust me.

Then Zorro had to isolate the vase from the clutter and shove it gently over to the side. The side however holds a decorative ridge that -incidentally- protects the objects from falling down. It wouldn’t deter a determined kitty though. And so he pushed.

The crash was a beaut. A resounding explosion of sound that bespoke of terrible disaster and horrible calamity, that typical sound only pottery can make when it breaks into several large -and quite a lot of very small- pieces upon a tiled floor. It caused poor little Frankette to flee the House in sudden fright and Hrimnir to come running towards it in equally sudden interest, and it sent Bean-Sidhe and Loup-Garou, who are better acquainted with the temper of The Mistress than the younger ones, looking for a hiding place from which to safely follow the proceedings. From the looks on their furry little faces they were clearly happily anticipating the Mother of all Punishments to descend upon that sorry brute Zorro, but then I had to disappoint them…

How can you be angry at such a valiant deed ? How can you punish the brave kitty who did what one had dreaded to do during all these years ? I couldn’t get it over my heart to throw away the monstrosity, for it was usefully holding a bunch of fake flowers in front of the Mother Mary doll, yet brave decisive Zorro did. And he apparently did so with a flourish to boot ! Not for him the push-and-run, oh no ! He just sat there on top of the Cupboard, looking smug, whiskers a-quiver, at ease and peace with the world for all to see, furry lithe body radiating “I did it” in the mega-watt range. I tell you: this kitty has style…

And in order to disappoint and frustrate the other kitties even further, he had managed to break the last breakable object I had left within cat-reach. This means that none of the others will ever be able to achieve the same height in Cat-ness, that the very pinnacle of über-felinity will be forever beyond the reach of their eager paws.
And you know what is uglier than ugly ?
A smug-looking grumpy cat.

Picture below:
Zorro showing off how happy and cute he is… yuck !

It’s Friday and that means… Friday Ark !!! Not to mention The Carnival of the Cats, over at Skittles, the Weekend Cat Blogging by Mind of Mog and the Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos done at Catsynth’s. Go visit there and meet all kinds of interesting kitties !!!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Nature

Cats