The tyke speaks…

Now it’s time to let little Hrimnir introduce himself in his own words. To The Mistress fell the heavy task to translate his squeals and miews into something we simians can understand and I think I made a pretty good job of it. And yes, even as I’m typing this the tyke is sitting on my lap at my keyboard, supervising every tip and tap like a pro.

‘Ellow !! I is Hrimnir. I is mighty impressive kitten. Big bad kitties make wiiide walk around me ‘coz me so fierce and furrocious they so init… itim.. imtin… scared of big me. Yay ! Big hiss for Hrimnir !
I not unnerstand big bad kitties. I make great hiss so they know who is boss and they swap me, and they pawl me over. I wanna be friends and play and they pawl me over again and make big hiss at me. Is no fun wif big bad kitties.

Big bad kitties mighty soft and warm fur-fur but you think they let me sleep wif them ? Noooo. They bad kitties. I must sleep with the apes who have no fur-fur. Big Grumpy Ape has a bit of fur-fur in his face and he purrs at sleep. I purr too and snuggle close and make happy paw-paws in his face-fur. Big Grumpy Ape stops purring and swaps me. What did I wrong ?

I is big eater. Big apes don’t bring ’nuff food fast ’nuff. So I is open big mouth and make yell they get the message. I is to train them hard. They need much training. I ask Long-Fur Ape why she no give me milky all day. She says is bad for little kitty to drink so much milk. But I no little kitty !! I is big kitty ! But she says if you big kitty you drink water like the big bad kitties then. Aarrggh ! They no unnerstand !!

I is now live in a big house. I lived in other house with Mama before Long-Fur Ape took me away in great growler thing. She say she my new Mama and big bad kitties my big brofers. She lies. I had brofers. They were no big bad kitties. They were sweet playmates. But she say I now have brofer Ban-Ban, brofer Lou-Lou and brofer Zorro. Long-fur Ape says I now have her for Mama and Big Grumpy Ape for Papa and Big Big Big Big Ape for Uncle. Crazy apes.

I is happy wif my new toys. I have little ball wif feathurs and ‘nother little ball wif feathurs, and a stick wif feathurs (I LIKES feathurs) and bouncy ball and bouncy ball that makes noisey and tinkle ball and fur-fur-thingy and mouse-on-a-ball and ‘nother fur-fur thingy, there’s also ball-in-a-ball and big fur-fur thingy. Then in the garden I have crawly-thingies and fly-thingies to chase and green springy stuff to hunt down and nibble on. I have climbing thing and scritching thing and a housey I can creep in and climb on. There is a box I want to sleep in but Long-Fur Ape says no, is no good for kitty, it has figh-ting-ro-bot-parts and if Big Grumpy Ape no look out he ships me to England in da box. What is an England ?

I is big kitten and also very neat kitten. I know good to go do-do outside in da garden and cover up like good tidy kitten. If I cannot make hole ‘coz I not strong ’nuff, I is clever and cover up with green springy stuff. But sometimes I not quick ’nuff to go into da garden and then I is make bad mistake in da house. First time I did bad mistake Big Grumpy Man ran out of da house. He says I stinky monster. But I knows where he does his do-do, and boy…

I like to sit on lap or shoulder of Long-Fur Ape. She is nice. I sit on shoulder and lick-lick her face. She thinks I do that ‘coz I like her. But I do that ‘coz she drinks milk and forgets to wash her face after that. I also love to do biteys on her paws. I tried to do bitey on her leg but I hurt my mouth ‘coz I couldn’t open it far ’nuff. I may be big kitten but I’m not that big. And at night she takes me up to the Big Nest. Is great and fluffy soft Big Nest for a kitten to play in. I hop and hop and hop all over. Then I snuggles close to Long-Fur Ape and curl up nicely warm in her paws.

So, that is my big int… itro… ducty… whadever. Many lick-lickss from Hrimnir The Terrible.

Picture below:
Is I not a mighty hunter ?

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Posted in Cats. 2 Comments »

Bundle of joy

A new feline denizen of the House of Chaos has finally made his grande entrée… so here… we introduce to you…
Hrimnir The Terrible. Hrimnir the Holy Terror. Hrimnir the Infinitely Cute.

Hrimnir is part Norwegian Forestcat, his mother being a gorgeous cream-coloured pedigreed one, and his father might have been a grey tabby – judging from the markings. And he is soo tiny… Barely 8 weeks old, the runt of the litter if I can believe the owners of Mama Cat, and indeed barely big enough to snuggle on your hand. But oh the temper, the character. How feisty this kitten is. How widely the elder cats walk around him.

Loup-Garou was the first to greet Hrimnir in the traveling basket. A cautious sniff was rewarded by an indignant hiss from the perplexed tyke. Clearly this kitten is determined not to be harassed or underdone by anyone. His ferocious hissing made the black cat turn around with a plaintive “iew” written on his face and he came to me for some consolation. No big friendship blossoming there I suppose.

Then Zorro ambled over, curious as to what had his behated sibling running. Anything that scares off Loup-Garou must by definition be a friend of Zorro’s and he set out exactly on that footing, only to meet… the most dreadful hissing he’s ever encountered in his 9 years. Thus Zorro, the grumpy he-cat, took a step backwards. And another. And another, which made him bump into me. His startled reaction was to flee and for Zorro that is humiliation. So, he went back over to the kitten and gave it a good swap over the head, in order to establish proper order and his injured pride. This swap has been repeated several times during the rest of the day and Hrimnir has been thoroughly bowled over. Cowed no. Bowled definitely.

Finally Bean Sidhe deigned to make an appearance and he managed to surprise us all. Has he noticed that he is no longer the youngest most cutes in the House ? Does he feel usurped out of his rightful position as the one getting the most complete attention and the most lavish cuddles ? At any rate, as soon as Hrimnir opened his tiny little mouth in order to emit a fiendish hiss-from-hell our Kitten From Hell responded in kind: with a majestic hiss of his own and a fascinating display of the porcelain cutlery that he hides in his not-so-tiny mouth. Gentle Ban-Ban, sweet Bannikins… hissed and growled. Oh boy.

The Mistress bought a Junior Box from Whiskas, the packaging of it doubling as a cat-house big enough for a kitten to snuggle in snugly, but do you think Hrimnir resides in it ? No. He prefers to hide out behind the housey, between my spare purses under the magazine-stand. A most secluded and cozy spot that, you can’t fault the kitten’s reasoning that “out of reach is out of danger”, but his habit of calling for his mum from a spot you can’t lift him out of is nasty. He’s also actively engaged in doing what most kittens of 8 weeks old are wont to do: eating, sleeping and filling the garden with the spoils of his eating frenzies. I’ve always suspected that kittens travel with this pocket dimension on their purrsons but now I’ve seen the proof. Hrimnir is able to process an amazing amount of food and moisture but we have this dark suspicion that he emits more than he takes in. Definitely something to keep an eye on. With nose closed of course.

Yet, when he snuggles close to you after having eaten his fill of the most delicious titbits we provide him with, when you feel that tiny body quivering with purrs of contentment, one cannot but be immensely charmed by the kitling. His most potent weapon is the ability to make both simians and felines go gooey whenever they set eyes on him. All 3 older cats forget that the little harridan hisses at them and approach him again at every opportunity: Loup-Garou with the hope of finding a couch-potato-soulmate, Zorro with murderous intentions as usual and knowing full well how lovely a kitten bounces off the walls, floor and ceiling, and Bean Sidhe with the forlorn hope that this bundle of joy might become his partner in crime, his playmate, his long-lost little brother (which he never had, the poor Bannster was born with exclusively female siblings), his fellow clown… But it will take Hrimnir several days to get over his fears for the unknown, the unpleasant and world-shattering shock of finding himself in a strange House without Mama Cat, and to lose his shyness and hostility towards other felines before turning into that typical kitten dynamo/dynamite. When he finally emerges from his hiding place, with all the bluster and gusto of a 2-months-old feline, he’ll be like a furry whirlwind driving us all to the brink of insanity.
And we’ll love it.

Picture below:
Peep !!

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