#Wijvenweek 6 and 7: Multitasking Superbroad

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress will try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is: Multitasking Superbroad.

I didn’t post yesterday because we had a celebration going on, I -The Mistress- have finally managed to acquire an Infinite Term Contract as Associate Accounts Payable. After 10 years of illness, unemployment, contractor employment and limited employment I finally have the security of a more permanent employment (albeit part-time because of my still lingering illness). YAY ! Kibbles and Tuna Cocktails for all ! And fortunately the last day of Wijvenweek did allow for a kind of catch-up day on Sunday. Which is today. And it’s all about being the kind of Superwoman that everyone takes for granted and nobody ever recognizes… the Supberbroad.

Freya truly excels at multitasking. For one thing, a Queen must needs keep a wary and weary eye out for any possible attackers whilst nursing her young ones. Freya, though immensely enjoying the close contact with her offspring, never truly relaxed whenever Isegrim was nursing with her. Not even at then end when he had already grown bigger than herself. Ever vigilant, ever ready to explode into the kind of multi-limbed multi-clawed meat grinder that is the hallmark of Felis Cattus Queens when defending her kitten.

When Isegrim was finally completely on solids the next hard task fell to her of teaching him the fine art of stalking and pouncing, passing on her knowledge of hunting and scavenging. But even during those days, despite the numerous times her boisterous kitten would try to attract her attention, her eyes would still rove and wander, some part of her attention always set aside for the ambush, the sudden danger. We simians may have immortalized a Queens care for her kits in many sayings and expressions, all fade in the presence of the real thing. And even when teaching and simultaneously defending her son our Freya would also be on the constant look-out for food. Add to that the constant keeping up of a perfectly groomed appearance…

Now that Isegrim is more than weaned, and despite having her new charges Gorgor and Rikishi to care for, it is time for Freya to finally let her hair and guard down a bit and relax, you’d think. But oh no !  Even when soaking up the first Spring Sun rays which will provide her with much needed Vitamins-D afterwards our Feline Lady of the House cannot help but multi-task even here… sun-bathing, yes, but also an exercise in Yoga, and an exhibition of herself at her most lovely and cute.

Freya multitasking, Sunbathing, yoga AND exhibitionism ? Yep, multitasking !

Look how cute I am. How lovely. How… hungry… see the paw at the brow ? I’m fainting from starvation !
Uh… Freykins, that’s usually done with a front paw…
Front ? Schmont ! Feed me NOW.

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#Wijvenweek 5: We are not amused

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress will try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is: Self Censure

Freya is usual very open about herself, coming up at you with a questioning chirrup whenever she wants something or simply butting her adorable little head against your legs in silent entreaty for a treat or just a cuddle. She will not hesitate to claim your lap and your attention. The keyboard in front of your computer is fair game really, when it comes to attention-grabbing.

Then there are her young ones. Freya has never been shy about nursing her son Isegrim, even when he had grown bigger than herself and positively loomed over her prone form with his muzzle snugly tucked against her lovely belly. Having been neutered in the meantime doesn’t keep her from mothering the two orange kittens ever since they came to live in the House of Chaos to within an inch of their tiny lives… and I really mean that because mothering also involves teaching the youngsters the fine art of battle and hunting which is not always done with gentleness and consideration for their feelings or their health.

Freya has a secret though. The one thing she really hates and would rather NOT have her sensitive paws in is… snow. But she won’t ever admit it openly. Because you never know with the kittens you’re doing such a terrific job raising… they might just find out your one little weakness and exploit it unmercifully. Like ambushing you with a wicked gleam in their eyes and the evil intention to push you into that cold wet white stuff !

Freya in the snow

Yuck. Cold. Wet. Can I go now ?

#Wijvenweek 4: Dreaming Diva

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress willl try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is: Dreamday

Scientists often scold us for our habit to anthropomorphise our furred friends: we are wont to ascribe to them the same feelings and emotions that we possess ourselves, and the scientists feel that animals don’t have these. Anyone who ever caught a dog red-pawed with his nose in the cookie-jar or who came home to a shredded settee and the very innocent-looking feline sitting next to it pointedly ignoring said settee would certainly disagree. As would anyone who has ever scolded a canine friend or cried hot tears in the vicinity of a cat. I can assure you that our feline friend Zorro mourned the passing of woofie Critter for 6 months. Nothing else could explain his sudden sad demeanour, his sudden lack of appetite, the hair loss (tummy and buttocks almost completely bald in the middle of winter !) and the uncharacteristic displays of affection towards his simian housemates. Animals do have feelings.

Another bone of contention with the scientists is whether animals could dream, or have an idea of what is awaiting them in the future. Do our 4-pawed companions dream ? I’m not talking about the kind of dream one experiences when in deep slumber, but about expectations, hopes, ambition perhaps…

Was Freya simply following her instincts when she reared her offspring Isegrim ? Is she doing this again now that she has 2 feisty kittens to take care of ? Or does she have the ambition to turn them into expert hunters – like she has done with Isegrim, the only fat yet successful hunter I know ? Is she anticipating no further than the next occasion for food ? Or is she actively planning to ambush Loup-Garou the next time I pour him his special food, or planning an attack on Gorgor the next time he receives his extra food of cooked carrots and chicken livers ? Does she expect to have a quality moment with me tonight after dinner ? I’m not sure.

I am sure however that whenever she is lying in the health-giving rays of the Spring sun in the Garden of Chaos she is closing her eyes not just in boundless bliss, but may even be dreaming some wacky grandiose dream in which she -of course, that goes without saying- plays the lead role…

Imagine…

Freya going back to her first home, ambushing the feckless creature who had so cruelly banished her from this home and towards the horrible fate of starvation. Attacking this person with grim ferocity. Punishing the doer for the cruel deed. Leaving a shivering bleeding wreck behind as she returns in triumph to the House of Chaos, with just the one or two artfully left specks of tell-tale blood on her immaculately groomed pelt…

Freya sitting in the Kitchen of Chaos, ogling the enormous slab of Côte-à-l’Os (T-bone beefsteak) and suddenly snatching it from under the Mistress’ flashing kitchen knife, then dashing off with her prize to that spot under the antique cupboard where The Mistress can’t reach her.

Freya taking a much needed sun-bath and her simians coming out towards her august prone form bearing trays of yummy tidbits and tasty morsels, offering her bit after bit of gastronomical delight, whilst the other feline members of the tribe of the House of Chaos drag their freshly caught preys over to her so she can have a bite were she feeling peckish.

Freya sitting in the middle of the road, the cars stopping with their drivers getting out and continuing to stare at her with hapless admiration and abject veneration. Heh, Bean-Sidhe tried that and he got hit by that white car didn’t he ?

I could go on and on trying to imagine my female feline friend’s dreams and ambitions, but I can be fairly sure of one thing…She’s the Number 1 Queen at the House of Chaos because there is none other !

Freya op de freesmachine

Ehrm… no… I don’t think she dreams of becoming a metalworker like Grumpy Man but she sure loves the swarf coming from the machines !

#Wijvenweek 3: Opiniated Kitty

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress willl try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is: Moh lookatitnow… we have an opinion

Freya, as should now be well and truly known, is a very straightforward Feline Lady. She also maintains daily and high standards of perfect grooming, she has raised a monster of a son (Isegrim, the 5.5 kg kitty) and as far as she is concerned  the two kittens that recently joined the Feline Tribe of the House of Chaos are simply delightful and sweet. Except when Rikishi ambushes her agian that is, but frankly such is the wont of kittens anyway.

There is however one item on which Freya has an absolute and unwavering opinion: it’s food. And it should be hers. All hers.

Understand this, dear reader, Freya has known hunger. Forced to fend for herself and her (at that time) tiny kitten Isegrim she roamed gardens and backyards in desperate search of sustenance for both herself and her offspring who was being weaned at that time. We don’t know which cruel simian had so ruthlessly thrown her and her little family (did she have more kittens, who didn’t survive the feral time ?) out of their household, but that despicable creature has certainly caused our delightful little Lady to starve.

Woefully she stared at the well-fed simian puttering about in his garden, but with a spark of interest in her brilliant green eyes she observed how this simian gently patted an equally well-fed feline. Was there a possibility ? Was the rumour true that the day before a fellow feline member of that community had sadly passed away ? Should she risk it ? And her kitten ?

As the kitten was cowering in a corner of the Garden of Chaos, softly mewing his distress that his Mommy would dare and approach those fearsome giants, she cautiously approached the towering simian and… butted her head against his legs. As the simian bowed and reached down he immediately noticed the emaciated form of the cat and bellowed to his life-mate to bring some food and hurry about it. Said life-mate happily obliged and the rest is history.

But ever since that fateful day Freya has always been at the forefront whenever our feline friends beg for food. She is always trying to be the first to reach us when the lovely sound of a tin can being opened is heard. And despite her petite frame even her monster-son will back away when he finds himself between his dam and food. There is simply no stopping Freya when there is food to be had. Even if it means she has to snatch it out from a frying-pan, or from under my knife. Freya-who-eats is a force of nature, immovable, solid as a rock. And if you dare disturb her at her meal she will… look at you imploringly with those huge moist brilliant green eyes, which so captivated my husband 4 years ago. Move over Puss-In-Boots… here is the true Mistress of the Art !

Freya the very first time she came to us...

Freya, the very first time we met her… so hungry, so weary, so in need of a loving home…

#Wijvenweek 2: guilty pleasures

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress willl try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is: Guilty Pleasures

It’s really difficult to be a cat. The simians you live with have so many and dumb expectations of you, it’s become a day’s work to try and live up to them… really really difficult !

Freya knows this well. From the earliest stirrings of her simian caretakers in the morning to late in the evening when the last of them finally succumbs to the beckoning arms of Morpheus she has to make sure that we never, ever, look strangely at her because she’s doing something unexpected and weird. She is well aware that we expect her to groom herself to pristine feline perfection, to lounge about lazily yet regally in a random ray of sunlight, to playfully yet elegantly chase after the hapless mouse that has somehow escaped Isegrim or any other of the House of Chaos’ regular hunters, to sit at the empty food bowls and meow imploringly to us…

But now and then she surprises us with her wacky little guilty pleasure and leaves us wondering what had happened to Her Impeccably-Mannered Ladyness…

She is the Typing Machine-Cardboard Muncher.

Freya chomp

Nomnomnomnom *TCHING* Nomnomnomnom *TCHING*

#Wijvenweek 1: the Lady of the Feline Tribe ruffled

Since it is Wijvenweek this week The Mistress willl try to blog the entire week. Not with the goal of putting the simian Lady of the House in the spotlight, oh no, but the feline Lady of the House ! Because face it, although this week is for simian women our furry sisters need some attention too…

This day’s theme is …“Beauty queen in the deepest of my thoughts” !

Freya is always spotless. Always at her best. No matter how hard it rains outside, or how terrible the little ones have been romping about with her, she always has her lovely pelt firmly in order, every hair in place. Her pelt is always pristine and groomed to perfection. She is truly beautiful and knows it.

Cats are very fastidious animals. They have a nifty little tool to help them with the daily task of grooming their luscious pelts: the tongue. It’s covered with little stubs that work like barbs. When they are licking themselves they are actually going over everything with a tiny flexible rasp. All kinds of impurities and dirt are removed, as well as loose hairs, and in the meantime the body itself is given a wholesome massage. Moreover, when the feline furr-ball is lying in the sun, the pelt somehow creates vitamin D and this is licked up later by the grooming kitty. So there you have it: comb, washing cloth, vitamin pill – all in one !

Their extreme agility allows them to reach nearly every possible spot on their bodies. Yet the spots that they can’t reach by twisting themselves into purring pretzels must be dealt with by using a tool… the paw. It is moistened and then brushed over the neck, head and ears. Not as thorough as the tongue perhaps, but certainly a useful substitute. And the best substitute of all is of course another kitty’s tongue. If your kitty were to accept another one that close to her august being that is. Which Freya does. She is not adverse to asking either Hrimnir or the kittens for a little extra attention, but the product of her loins Isegrim is no longer welcome. He has become so big that his own mommy is now afraid of him.

When there are simians about in the House of Chaos it’s not unusual for our 7 feline friends to vie for these simians’ attention. Freya is a past mistress of the artful begging and will contort her lovely shape into something akin to a starving wreck whenever there’s the possibility of food to be had. An immaculately groomed starving wreck of course ! One should never lower one’s standards you know !

Except when the first Spring Sun is discovered and she couldn’t wait to dash out into the garden to be the first to sample it…

Freya

*GASP* Le horror ! Ruffled pelt !