The ‘mint-hog

Looking at the market for lovely flowers to adorn the Garden of Chaos this Summer the Mistress stumbled upon an unexpected bounty… nepata faassenii… catmint ! No less than 3 lovely little plants were quickly purchased and later on set up to be planted on pride of place in the Garden of Chaos. But the planting didn’t go entirely without trouble, truth to say. I hit an obstacle.

Zorro.
Why does it always have to be Zorro ?
From the moment I entered the House of Chaos with my little cart full of floral goodies his furry little head perked up with mighty interest and his cute little pink nose started twitching. What kind of tantalizing odour was wafting from that box ? When I took the bags out of the cart-box he immediately zeroed in on the one containing the 3 hapless catmint plants. Bag or no bag but right there right then he decided to start rolling into the stuff. I barely had opportunity to take them out ! Next he started molesting the little innocent greenies while still in their pots, toppling them all the time, bowling them over and against each other. In his rolling frenzy he also managed to rock ‘n roll each and every other bag, even the ones with the twining plants. The huge ones. Oh dear.

I diligently dug a few holes for the ‘mints to reside in, gingerly tried to pick out one of the pots, and … got my hand scratched. Thoroughly.
Apparently somebody was under the impression that I was going to take away his bliss-source and subsequently started to panic and turned into that 4-limbed 16-taloned 4-fanged buzz-saw we have come to love and adore. “Yo hand ! Touch that plant and you’re shreds !” Yeah, it did hurt. But the culprit quickly saw his mistake and took a step back, although taking his time to admire his pawdi-and-mawdi-work. But I continued unfazed. The plants had to be planted. So, deftly the first one was taken out of his pot and with proper dispatch put into the hole. Earth was gently moved over the tiny roots, then gently patted. A paw intervened. Then a furry body. Who proceeded to trample the poor little plant ! ZORRO !! Sigh. To no avail did I raise my voice. He undulated, twisted, rolled, wiggled all over the plant, ecstasy written all over his furry face, utter bliss radiating from every hair and whisker.

This short-lived moment of feline nirvana was swiftly taken advantage of in order to plant the two remaining catmint plants. But no sooner had I gently moved the earth in place then the black-and-white miscreant decided it was time to notch up the ‘mint frenzy and go totally bonkers.
You see, Zorro tried to eat my boot.
With my foot still in it. With my leg still attached to it. He wrapped himself all around my ankle, dug in his claws and started to gnaw.
Talk about the munchies !
I mean, he was zonked out, totally crazed, absolutely so not on this world, and I have the marks on my boot to prove what he did. And do you really think he would be unconscious ?
Heh heh. Think again.

A cautious Bean Sidhe came closer, cute pink little nose twitching with the gentle lure of the tiny plants. He even went so far as to belly-over, crawling close to the ground, nose inching towards the prize. He immersed his furry face into the goody greenery and started to lose himself just a tiny little bit into the sweet caress of the catmint, but he did stay alert.
With good reason.
Next thing Zorro hissed over, snarling the kitten -who happens to be bigger than he is- into submission and then looking at him so fiercely that Ban-Ban fled towards the safety of the Kitchen of Chaos. But that drew the attention of the Black Fiend, Loup-Garou, who ambled over in order to check out the ruckus. And the alluring smell, that somehow managed to wait until that moment to insinuate itself into the black one’s nostrils, struck in full force. Loup-Garou who, after almost 9 years of enduring Zorro, should know better, quickly lost himself into the catmint’s embrace and embarked upon a voyage fantastic… only to get kicked out of it most rudely by his beloved sibling. He retreated onto the garden table, nursing his pride and his shanks.

Zorro was left with the catmint. HIS catmint. His private hoard of bliss. And just to make sure the message stuck deeply enough with the other feline denizens of the House of Chaos, he made an elaborate show of rolling his august rump and schnozzle into the stuff, wallowing in nepata nirvana, then quietly and gently zonking out at his leisure.
Who rules the Garden ?
Ah, but the ‘mint-hog of course…

Picture below:
Zorro does not at all like what he sees… what is the Lou-Lou-ster doing near HIS catmint plot ?

Addendum:

The Master Of Toys and Grumpy Man have been tinkering with their fighting robots again -lightweights fortunately, only 12 kilos- and conducted several tests in the Garden of Chaos. Unfortunately they forgot that a garden has a purpose other than being a testing ground for combative machines, e.g. a refuge for flowers and plants to flourish and prosper.

Thus the following happened:

Ready for testing…

Launch…

Going… going…

Oh no… I don’t like the direction this is going…

AARRGGHH !! The Catmint !!!

… … … =whimper= … … …

Catmint squashed by 12 kilos of murderous metal…

It survived, fortunately. And the jolly roboteers managed to trash an adjoining pot full with lovely yellow flowers and an ornamental bottle next (you can see them on the last picture, pre-trashed), next a vine I had planted in order to cover the stack of rubbish at the far end of the Garden of Chaos was damaged, and several patches of grass were torn out. The cats, wisely, had relocated when they heard the CO² canister hissing.