Potluck kitteh

Freya is a Gastropod. A stomach on legs. There’s not much else in her whenever she spots even the remotest possibility of food to be had, but the burning all-consuming desire to consume whatever edibles can be grabbed, bit and swallowed. Her obsession about food is so overwhelming that, whenever she hears someone being occupied in the Kitchen of Chaos, she will drop whatever she has been doing (taking a nap, stalking Hrimnir, teaching her kitten to lose a fight) in order to dash madly over to the kitchen counter, jump on it, and steal whatever the Simian in question had been trying to prepare. She will grab it from under the knife, try to fish it out of the frying pan, pry it from between your clenched lips, open the waste bin and take out what you had just thrown in it… everything in the pursuit of food -glorious food- to be had.

Undoubtedly she must have known starvation during the time before she entered the House of Chaos and she was wandering outside without a forever home and trying to raise her kitten. Her obsessive feeding habit clearly shows that she has been in serious nutritional want. During her first days as a Denizen of the House of Chaos she even would display aggression towards any other kitty that would try and eat from the same bowl she was emptying. And the rate with which she shoveled the grub inside that weird black hole she calls “stomach” was truly astonishing. But now she knows better, and dares even to disdain the Crunchy Goodness and demand a pouch of Stinky Goodness to be opened just for her. Nevertheless she will eat whatever she can get and many is the time when our ears are delighted with the sound of a happy kitty contentedly munching away.
Or better yet: the blissful snores of a thoroughly stuffed kitty At Peace With The World And Her Bulging Stomach.

The main problem is however that she will try and steal anything edible, even if that means she has to reach out and grab it from our forks. Eating has become quite the adventure at the House of Chaos, what with that lithe feline urging us on to give her a morsel. She is wont to grab our attention with both paws, hindpaws, all of her whiskers and her tail to boot, undulating all over the place with desperate mute pleas for succour. It is real hard to concentrate on eating when there’s this splendid mime show being enacted right before your eyes. And when you are paying attention to said show, Freya is paying attention to your food. In a heart-beat she will pounce and if you are not swift enough you’ll find the kitty in your plate. And your dinner in her bottomless pit.

But if you remain steadfast and keep pushing her away she will push even harder back. Clearly she knows the Power of Kjoot and will mercilessly put it to good use. You try and push, you even pick her up and deposit her on the floor time and time again. But before you have had to chance to pick up your fork again she’s back, lying all over the place, preferably over your plate, and trying to push her way into your dinner. Or milk mug. Whatever.

Yet she doesn’t scream, yell or even moan. There’s not even the slightest whimper to be heard. All her begging and pleading is doggedly and persistently done in utter, total and complete silence. And she doesn’t do the “Pleading Paw on your Knee” either. That’s just not effective enough if you want her opinion. Oh no, she does the “Entire Body Spread Next to your Dinner Plate”. And she has the “Huge Imploring Eyes” rehearsed to perfection. It’s almost a shame that both Grumpy Man and The Mistress are immune to such pleas and will never be moved by the force of it. When you’ve had an eternally-hungry Alsatian Woofie for 11 years you tend to acquire some degree of immunity where begging is concerned. There’s little more effective than a begging Alsatian.

But Freya gives her best shot at it anyway.

All in all, she’s a potluck kitty. The day she decided to investigate our Garden of Chaos she hit the jackpot big time. First thing we did was feed her. That sort of sealed our fates really. Freya must have decided there and then that the Garden -and subsequently the House- of Chaos would be ideally suited for her continuous existence and would improve matters in the feeding department greatly. Ever since that day has she not lived through a single day in want (except when I had her neutered… she had to go into surgery empty-stomached and she did not like that one bit ! Nor did the other feline denizens who are used to the usual cornucopia of Crunchy Goodness…).

I dare to think she is happy here. It’s currently 3° Celcius outside, the sleet has just stopped, but in the House of Chaos it’s a balmy 20.5°Celcius and Freya just came in wet and cold, making a happy beeline towards my keyboard so that I can pet her.

She’s purring on my lap.

Picture below: all 6 Feline Denizens of the House of Chaos doing what they love best… shoveling the grub. And as you can see, we never did away with the woofie’s water bowl. Not with so many thirsty little throats purring around…
From left to right: Freya, Loup-Garou, Bean Sidhe, Hrimnir, Isegrim and Frankette.

potluck

It’s weekend again and this means we are dining out ! First to the Friday Ark, then to the Carnival of the Cats hosted by Nikita’s Place, before stopping by over at the Weekend Cat Blogging done by Diamond’s Lair, and finally for a nightcap at the Bad Kitty Cats Festival of Chaos which happens at the House of the (Mostly) Black Cats.

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