Felis Catus, the opportunistic hedonist

Cats are the ultimate hedonists’ hedonists. The word has been invented for them. They brought the hedo into hedonist. And what -pray tell- does “hedo” mean ?

It means: “heartily enjoying deliberate opulence”. Yes, that’s right. The cat’s very existence is devoted to the pursuit of extreme happiness, showing him off as a most natural American, and as such is wondering why a silly bird has been chosen as that nation’s national emblem instead of the far more worthy feline that he himself is such an august example of. Think of it ! Have you ever seen an American citizen content with not pursuing happiness and the subsequent manifestations thereof like money, luxury, the best food, a big house, an even bigger car, and the most garish status symbols humanity has ever been able to foist upon itself ? Not to mention the constant drive to groom oneself. Or the wounded pride when some foreigner finds his attire funny.

I have nothing against Americans (with which I mean the Homo USA-us), but some of their more weird quirks strongly remind me of my cats’. Indeed. If you leave it up to the feline residents of the House of Chaos “supersize me” is the Eleventh Commandment, not a funny advertisement meme and bane of dieticians. Their idea of bigger and better translates into a wish for large food bowls and larger couches with -of course- larger cushions. And of course they have a penchant for the wide prairies, one of such you’d preferably have as a backyard. Then, the mouse they have caught last night becomes a huge monstrous rodent by day when they try to convince you of their prowess as fearsome hunters and can I have a kibble now ?

But most of all it’s the pursuit of happiness that our feline companions devote so much of their daily activities to. Or rather the lack of activities. And in that I guess they deviate from the more energetic kind of pursuit of happiness our fellow simians of the USA are wont to exhibit. Because for Felis Catus nothing but the best will do, and certainly nothing but the most relaxing pose on the most comfy cushion in the most warm house.

Yet, fanatic individualists as they are, the feline denizens of the House of Chaos are wont to display their hedonism each in their own unique way. Let us go down the list by age:

– every evening Loup-Garou silently coerces us simians into retreating to the Nest as soon as possible after dinner. He cajoles and goads us until we crawl under the duvet and he can then haughtily take up his customary place between our pillows and our heads. From time to time we get a sharp reminder of our duties to pet him into purring submission. Too bad he wakes us up doing so. Too bad Grumpy Man’s customary behaviour when that happens is to hurl said kitty out of the Nest. Still, he never gives up. And he can be so happy….

– Bean Sidhe is usually found napping on our desk chairs, on the cupboard between our computers, on our feet in the Nest. Once in napping mode it’s impossible to dislodge him, save by copious application of brute force and hardening of our hearts. Bannekins tends to complain loudly and plaintively.

– Hrimnir has a spot at the window. He also has a spot anywhere on the Nest that’s not being occupied by anyone else. He also has a spot on my arm when I’m typing. He’s heavy.

– Frankette usually goes into hiding, and usually behind the painting I’m working on in the Kitchen of Chaos. That she tends to displace and crash my painting stuff is of no consequence. Very rarely does she venture upon a simian lap. Very rarely does she venture into the Nest. But when she does so her purring becomes thunderous. An alternative spot is the dirty or the clean laundry, whichever hasn’t been occupied by the others at the moment.

– Freya has this thing with boxes. Not only does she reduce them to bits, she also loves to sleep in them. Occasionally you can find her on the cupboard between the computers (when Banneman is not occupying it), on the dirty laundry (when Frankinneke isn’t residing on it) or on the windowsill (when Hrimnir isn’t there). When she sleeps she has this most endearing content look on her furry little face.

– Isegrim can be found anywhere napping. Usually though, he sleeps on the windowsill and on the clean clothes in our bedroom.

– Frankinneke is partial to the dirty laundry. Don’t ask me why. She also tends to sleep in one of the cupboards behind Grumpy Man’s drill collection. We are fortunate the drills are sorted by number. Occurrence of having to pick them up from the floor: twice a week. And the platform on the scratching pole too does hold some attraction to her because we have found her napping on it as well.

– Frankendrolleke is the most opportunistic of the meowing lot. You can find him in the couch, on the cupboard between the computers (and sometimes on top of the kitty that’s sleeping on that cupboard), on Freya, on Loup-Garou and on a simian’s shoulder or lap. He’s also the only feline resident to sleep in the lovely basket I have bought for that purpose. But so far he hasn’t dared to come up to the Nest. I wonder whether the menacing presence of 4 adult tom-cats has something to do with it.

In any case, at any given moment, you will find a peacefully reposing feline in the House of Chaos. And the only place where you won’t find them is in the bathroom (but not for lack of trying… Freya, Isegrim and Hrimnir tend to consider the sink as a most appealing bed) because that door is usually locked. Other than that, any reasonably stable spot in any reasonably peaceful area is fair game.

Picture below: yeah, he’s almost drowning in that space, but then, he’s got space to grow into hasn’t he ?

Pfff… time flies… it’s almost weekend again, and that means visiting our furriends over at Carnival of the Cats (hosted by Mind of Mog), Weekend Cat Blogging (hosted by The Sour Dough), the Bad Cats Festival of Chaos (once a month, hosted by -oops- there’s still a host needed !), the Cat Blogosphere, and the Friday Ark.